When you start communicating with someone, first think of the response that you want to get and what is the purpose of this interaction, e.g. - getting your way, making someone feel better, just have fun, etc.
A person is not his or her behavior
By identifying with our behavior we can soon become stuck with it and make excuses that it's "just how I am". This puts you in a box rendering you unable to improve yourself in any way. In fact our behavior is not our identity. We can change our behavior. We can also change our identity (personality). Therefore the conclusion - our behavior is not our identity.